Pass the Ammunition

Preparing for war.

Sound the trumpet.

Bait the mouse traps.

Bring the pain.

Happy Thanksgiving

I hope all the readers of Ew York City have a happy, and healthy Thanksgiving.

And I also hope you all get the counseling you so desperately need.

I think this was that dude's couch

This represents the great unknown of pest control.

What was this?

Why was it like this?

What can I do about it?

Who cares?

Ew York City will be back again.

Pre-Trending

Here's some of my former colleagues.

They were released a while back.

But for a while we worked together closely.

They really liked living in cardboard, but then one morning in the village me and little Nicky came across this little shoe and the roaches really seemed to enjoy sunning themselves on it.

They also ate quite a bit of the pleather interior.

I'm sure there's a niche market out there for edible footwear, and these little guys are way ahead of the curve on that.

We call it pre-trending.

Ew York City will be back next week.

Again, there's action in the alley

Floor?

Check

Wall?

Check

Mouse droppings?

Check

And where are they?

Next to the wall

This doesn't necessarily mean anything.

Ew York City will be back tomorrow

Listen to your rat droppings (or to your heart)

This was up in the ceiling of some wholesale place that sells huge amounts of trinkets from China to the little tourist shops in Times Square.

Just contemplate the profit margin there....

Speaking of rats, this is what was going on above all the ceramic NYC taxis and New York license plates that say "#1 DAD!"

Lots of rat activity:  fresh droppings, lots of urine, and plenty of sebum, that oily secretion that comes from the hair and skin of the rodent.

As the rodents poop, pee, sweat, shed, and run around, rat dander (learn that term!) falls down from the drop ceiling and floats onto the boxes of neon colored bongs and "I (Heart) NY" shirts that will shortly be making the long trip back to Barcelona, Tuscaloosa, and Bangalore.

And this is why I do my souvenir shopping online.

Ew York City will be back pretty soon

I'm feeling like a new man

Fruit flies were breeding behind this pipe.

The gunk was full of larvae.

The walls were covered with flies.

The orcs were marching toward Mordor.

So what did we do?

Steam baby.

We steamed out the gunk behind the pipe, and middle earth was saved.

Photos courtesy of our nightcrawler Melvin.

Ew york city will be back next week

Not grate

This is a bad situation.

Those blasted milk crates are a health code violation for a reason: they are not easy to clean under, and the DOH knows you don't move them and clean there.

Furthermore, how are we, your faithful, fearless, pest control people, supposed to look under that metal trap to see what's going on?  Maybe that's where all your fruit flies are breeding.

Much better.

Ew York City will be back later this week.

Look at me!

This is my little mirror thingy.

It's like that thing that goes in your mouth at the dentist.

No, the other thing.

Any way, this enabled me (wafoosh!) to see that there were mouse droppings behind this wall that I could not get my head into (just like that thing at the dentist) and it led me to a hole where the mice were getting in.

So think about all of that.

Ew York City will be back soon

The tracks of my tears

Why do you hate me?

Because you don't like the way I look?

You don't like my physical appearance?

You were brought up to hate me?

You don't like my language, my behavior, my beliefs, my proximity to you?

Why must you kill me?

Is it just because you don't understand me?

Because you decided I'm not beautiful?

Because you believe you're better than me?

Why?

Why do you have to hate?

Why can't you change, evolve, grow - to love me, at least to tolerate me?

I mean you no harm.

We are all God's creatures.

Maybe, starting with you, something new, something beautiful, something wonderful can happen, can begin:

The sprouting of a new peaceful friendship where once there was only pain and suffering.

Ew York City will be back next week

Shine a Light

Very easy to see the hole that's been chewed in the door sweep here.  Notice also all the rodent markers on the congoleum.

But this was one of those doors in the back of the restaurant that no one uses except the rodents.

Gotta move that junk back there so you can see what's going on.

No Clutter!!!!!

I'll be back when I feel like it.

Heads Up

Those head boards on some people's beds?

Not feeling them.

Why's that?

Often times they have upholstery, wicker, nooks, crannies, macaroni, sparkles, shpetzel, shnitzel, and other little areas where bed bugs can hide.

And get high on your blood fool.

See those dark little beauties tucked away behind the blue cloth on this headboard, gorged with the blood of New York transplant who moved here to fulfill her life long dream of making it big?  And how she cried when I pointed out the bugs that were hidden all over her bed.

"Oh, are you an actress?" I asked.  "Great performance."

Do yourself a favor and ditch the headboards.  Times have changed.

Ew York City will be back sooner or later.