Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Missed it by this much




Rats are an incredibly designed creature and a worthy opponent on every level, and many of my long time readers are aware of the mixed feelings I have about them.  Sometimes I hate them, but sometimes I love them, and in reality all they are is another visitor to this island called Manhattan just trying to find a comfortable place to live and trying to find something good to eat, and maybe trying to find someone to love.

This guy was caught right behind a nice Upper East Side restaurant.  The restaurant management wants to put a beer garden out back, but to do so we have to evict the current tenants back there, and in fact the eviction will be more of a genocide.

However, the rats that we are catching are the weaker, smaller ones, and the stronger, bigger ones are avoiding the traps and are laying low beneath the surface, perhaps moving underground and heading toward the Asian restaurant next door.  So the genocide will be limited in scope to be sure, and the bigger, badder rats will relocate and repopulate.

This guy got caught with a chocolate candy bar.  Sometimes I'll use beef jerky or slim jims.  Sometimes I'll put on some Tribe Called Quest while I'm setting the traps.

The skeleton of the rat is more malleable than many other vertebrate creatures of its size and body type, and that allows it to squeeze through the smallest of holes, cracks, crevices, pipes, etc., but it also means that when the trap hits the head (as in the picture above) the skull isn't really all that broken, just squeezed apart in two different directions.

Sometimes after I catch a nice rat like this, I'll carry it around with me for a while and swing it back and forth, and I'll act like I'm a baton twirler in the big parade.  And I'll feel so beautiful and special, just like I'm the prom queen again.

I'll be getting back to work now.  I hope your day is going well.

Ew York City will be back tomorrow if I feel like it.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Erase the Head

This was a good one, and I'm sorry I don't have more documentation of it than this, but in the corner of this restaurant basement was the above grate that you see, and underneath it was a living, breathing snarling mass of twisted and gyrating..

I'm sorry, I gotta take this phone call real quick.  It never stops some days.  I'll try to finish this story another time.

How's your building basement looking lately?  You go down there?

Ew York City will be back tomorrow I think


Monday, January 18, 2016

The Lance

It's not cool to keep your toilet plunger in your restaurant kitchen anyway, but if you do, please make sure that it's not holding stagnant water where fly maggots are living and breeding.

Also, ask yourself why you charge so much for the lobster bisque when there's hardly any lobster in it.

Give me liberty!

Ew York City will be back tomorrow player.

Friday, January 8, 2016

The Missing Pieces



Why in the world anyone keeps cardboard laying around is beyond me.

It's an organic paper product that attracts moisture and the pests that love moisture, plus it is an ideal harborage site and breeding ground.

And you can cut your widdle fingah.

There are some fly larvae visible in the top picture.

Have a nice weekend from Ew York City.

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Tracking Trails




See all the rat tracks?

These are in the ceiling above the kitchen of a private residence in Tribeca.

Multi-million dollar apartment downtown Manhattan, completely surrounded by rats in the ceiling and floors...

And your point is?

Ew York City might not be back til Wednesday.  I have an absolute nightmare of a job coming up starting tomorrow and it's putting me in a very bad mood.

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Pupae Don't Preach


This is in that ice tray behind the bar where the "rocks" are kept when you order a steaming hot "vermouth on the rocks."

We used to boil vermouth back in my day.

Anyhoo, these are some nice pupae.  Pupae is the term that refers to the cycle of the fly's life post-larvae (i.e. maggot) and pre-fly (i.e. fly).

Ice is certainly a vector of pests.

Bottom's up.

Ew York City will be back tomorrow.

Monday, January 4, 2016

What's in the Bag Dad?


A rat broke into an uptown apartment and ate a Hermes purse.

This is what that looks like.

Personally, I would still use the purse.

Have you seen what they cost?

Happy 2016.  See you tomorrow at Ew York City.